Hawaii Five-0 3x08: Wahine 'inoloa

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This review is bad. The episode was bad and I didn't want to do it, so I couldn't bring myself to put a lot of effort into it. I apologize. Next time I'll try harder.

When a flaming man runs out of a burning sugar cane field (which is apparently part of the harvesting process... burning the field, not setting dudes on fire), the Five-0 team is on the case. Max's preliminary investigation turns up a gunshot wound and traces of gasoline on the body, so it was definitely not an accident.

He seems a tad crispy.

According to his phone records, the dead guy spent his last few hours alive trying to get in touch with his psychotherapist, so Steve and Kono go to have a chat with her. When they get to her place, McGarrett thinks he sees her hosing evidence off her car, so he arrests her... and that's where the episode goes off the rails.

I think it's supposed to be some kind of weird sexual cat-and-mouse game between McGarrett and the killer, but none of it makes any sense. At one point the killer takes out a restraining order against Steve. Now, I'm not up on Hawaiian law, but I don't think that when you're a suspect in an active murder investigation, you can take out a restraining order on the guy who's investigating you. It seems to me that it would make catching murderers kinda hard if the detectives weren't allowed with 500 yards of them.

At any rate, as it turns out, the therapist's office was just a front for a high-class brothel... for some reason. I mean, the team looked into her, so she presumably really was a doctor and therapists can make a buttload of money without risking prison time. So, I guess she was just lazy or bored or something. The dead guy was a recovering alcoholic and he was going to apologize to his wife for cheating on her with expensive hookers, and when he told his "therapist" she iced him to keep her secret intact. However, when Danny and Steve go to bust her, she's gone.

Her business is still going strong, though.

Knowing she's in trouble, the killer heads for the airport, but she knows she's being watched and she's on the no-fly list, so she can't get on a plane. To remedy this, she murders a flight attendant in the bathroom and steals her uniform. But, Steve's too smart for that trick. He knows she's not really getting on the flight, so the team locks down the airport and runs outside just as she's getting in a cab. McGarrett catches her, Danno books her.

Case closed.

Meanwhile, Tony Almeida breaks into Catherine's house because he got suspended when she hacked into his WITSEC account, and he's rightfully ticked off. Although, it's kinda his own damn fault for using such an easily-guessable password. Anyway, a guy Doris supposedly killed 20 years ago has resurfaced, and WITSEC thinks he's going to kill her. With Catherine's help, they find the guy, but he disappears before they can catch him. Then, when they try to find Doris to warn her, she's gone too. Fearing the worst, they have Chin track the bad guy's rental car via GPS. However, when they get to the location, they find Doris torturing the guy with a car battery.

I think it's a bit much for a first date, but I'm old fashioned.

Catherine makes her stop before she kills the guy, then Doris gets her to promise not to tell Steve. Then I say "Man, I thought this show was a lot more fun and light-hearted. What happened?"

What I Liked
-When they bust in on the dude with the hooker, Danny just nonchalantly tosses the guy his pants. If you've seen one guy banging a prostitute in the back of a therapist's office, you've seen 'em all.

What I Hated
-Tony's a trained agent, and a tiny woman still manages to get his gun in like ten seconds. I hate when shows do that. It should at least be a tad difficult to beat up a man twice your size.
-Kono and Steve use Skype to communicate with Chin back at Five-0 headquarters. I hate Skype. It's caused me nothing but trouble over the years. Also I refuse to believe the wireless service out in the middle of that field was sufficient to allow for seamless video chatting.
-More or less everything.

Final Thoughts
This was a bad episode. It took me nearly a week to write this review because I was dreading going back and watching it again.

I'm not old enough to have watched the original series, but certainly the new one wasn't about psychological games and sociopaths and really dark stuff. At least not until this season. If I wanted that, I'd watch CSI or Criminal Minds or something. They've been doing it longer, and they do it better. I've mentioned it before, but what I want out of Hawaii Five-0 is bikini babes, bitchin' Camaros, and "Book 'em, Danno" and I think that's what pretty much everyone wants, but, most importantly, I want it to be fun, not grim. Having Danno book the creepy sociopath or guy who cuts out peoples' organs while they're still alive or a child molester or something is not fun.