Game of Thrones 6x02: Home

We're back again for another week. Is Jon Snow still dead? Only his hairdresser knows for sure.

What'chu Talkin' 'bout, Hodor?
The Three-Eyed Raven has spent the past year teaching Bran how to use his powers, which apparently include the ability to see into the past. As it turns out, Hodor was a stable boy named Willis, although it's probably spelled Wylys or something like that. Meera's a bit bored, but the weird child of the forest girl tells her they won't be hanging out under the tree forever and Bran will need her help when they leave.


The Adventures of Grumpy Dwarf and Baldy No Balls
The dragons in the dungeon are refusing to eat, so Tyrion unchains them.


Temporary Blindness
The girl comes back to whoop Arya's ass some more. Afterwards, a man who is not Jaqen H'ghar makes Arya three increasingly enticing offers if she'll tell him her name. She refuses, and he takes her off the street for more training. Could the next week feature a montage? I sure hope so.


Worst Kingsguard Ever
A drunk man makes some lewd comments about Cersei, so Ser Frankenmountain tracks him down and smashes his head like a grape against a wall. Later, Tommen and Jaime view Myrcella's body in the great sept. The High Sparrow shows up to jaw a bit, and Jaime sends Tommen to talk to his mother while he has a chat with the old man. He's fully willing to chop his head off, but the twenty or so members of the Faith Militant who show up to intimidate him prevent that.


Lady Stark-Lannister-Bolton and Her Merry Band
Podrick tries to start a fire. Theon says goodbye to Sansa, then takes a horse and rides home.


Hey, remember the Ironborn?
Yara informs her father that the Ironborn have lost their last foothold on the mainland. He wants to invade some more towns, but she doesn't think it's a good idea. He's the king, though, so he doesn't have to listen to her, and he storms off... into a storm. While crossing a rope bridge, he runs into his brother Euron, newly returned from somewhere. After a brief, unkind conversation, Euron tosses his brother over the edge, thus bringing an end to The War of the Five Kings. Time for a kingsmoot.


Ramsay, Shitlord of Winterfell
Walda gives birth to a son, so Ramsay gives his father a big, congratulatory hug, then shanks him while Lord Karstark looks on. Ramsay then summons his stepmother and baby brother, leads them to the kennel and has the dogs tear them apart.


Jon is Dead, Jon is Dead, I am the Walrus
It's night, and with Davos and the loyalists refusing to surrender, Ser Alliser orders a brother to break down the door to the room holding Jon's body. Before they break through, someone bigger smashes down an even bigger door. Wun Wun charges through the gate of Castle Black, followed by Edd, Tormund, and enough wildlings to slaughter what's left of the Night's Watch. A few of the brothers want to fight, but when one of them shoots an arrow into the giant's shoulder, Wun Wun smashes him against the wall, and they quickly lose the will to fight. Edd has the conspirators locked up in the cells beneath the castle.

Afterwards, Davos asks Melisandre if she has the power to resurrect Jon. She met Thoros of Myr a few seasons back, so she knows it's technically possible, but she's never done it before. Davos convinces her to try, so she gives Jon a haircut while she chants over him. It doesn't seem to work, so everyone leaves the room a little bummed out. But, then Jon pops back to life as soon as he's alone.


What I Liked
-They only spent two episodes beating up Arya on the street. It would've gotten really old if they'd pushed it any further than that.
-Wun Wun smash! It's a very enjoyable moment.

What I Hated
-Tyrion confirms that the dragons know Missandei and consider her a friend, then doesn't take her with him when he goes to unchain them. What the hell was the point of that?
-The long, drawn out murder of Walda and the baby. That was a completely unnecessary scene. Immediately after he kills Roose, Ramsay says "Send for Lady Walda and the baby." We already know what he's going to do, and not showing it would save us three minutes of us waiting to see how he does it.
-Tormund doesn't kill Olly when he charges at him with a sword. Seriously, fuck Olly.
-Roose Bolton, evil genius, lets his son stab him to death. There's no particular reason why he would let his psychotic son hug him. Nor does there seem to be any reason why the Karstarks would support a sadistic killer over his more level-headed father. But the plot demands it, so Roose is dead.

Final Thoughts
The child of the forest's makeup has changed so much that I'm honestly not sure it's the same character. At the end of season four, she barely looked non-human, but now her skin seems to be a different colour.

I thought they were going to completely ignore all the stuff from the books related to the Greyjoys, but I guess they need some way to get Daenerys over to Westeros, and she's certainly not using the boats she had docked in Meereen.

There's no particular reason why Harald Karstark shouldn't immediately betray Ramsay and kill him. Almost everyone hates the Boltons, and most of their men follow Ramsay out of fear, not respect. There's no living heir, nor is there any way to produce one while Sansa is missing, and the Lannisters will march up and wipe them out as soon as winter ends. Granted, that could be several years, but spring will come eventually. And without any Starks around, the Karstarks have a pretty good claim to being the legitimate lords of Winterfell, anyway. A quick knife to Ramsay's back would get Harald a lot of goodwill, and a decent chunk of land. Which, of course, means that it won't happen. For whatever reason, the writers have decided that Ramsay is more or less completely invincible, even going so far as two of the greatest tacticians in Westeros (Stannis and Roose) into complete morons so he can defeat them. Everyone will believe his story about his father and stepmother being poisoned, and no one will rat him out to the Freys, even though it would be relatively easy to do without getting caught.

Ser Davos asking Melisandre to resurrect Jon doesn't make a heck of a lot of sense. While he's seen her perform some pretty amazing magic in the past, he has no reason to believe that she has the power to bring someone back from the dead. He asks her because the plot needs Jon to come back, and the writers decided she wouldn't make the attempt of her own volition.

A lot of the stuff that goes against character or makes no sense seems to be happening because the writers know where they're trying to go, but they don't know how they're supposed to get there. Now that they diverged from and overtaken the books, the paths they need to take aren't spelled out for them, so they're moving the plot along in a really ham-handed way.

Petyr Baelish, brilliant mastermind, and proximate cause of a great deal of the current strife south of the Wall is still missing. He's probably hanging out with Gendry.

It doesn't matter how much walking around in his underwear he does in the next episode, Jon Snow is still dead to me, dammit.

Now that I've gone back over it, it doesn't seem like a whole heck of a lot happened in this episode, either. Everything just moves really slowly and eats up a lot of time. Tyrion telling a story while he unchains the dragons is a nice character moment, but it doesn't really advance the plot all that much. Saying goodbye to Theon eats up a couple minutes, killing Walda takes three minutes, and resurrecting Jon takes five. Again, interesting character bits, but there's a lot to cover if the show's going to have any kind of satisfying conclusion. It was somewhat less stupid than the previous episode, though, and didn't include anything Dorne-related, so it's definitely a bit of an improvement. Plus it gets a bonus for Wun Wun smashing that guy against the wall.

Hawaii Five-0 4x02: Aʻale Maʻa Wau

The Yakuza attack Kono and Adam, And Kono steals McGarrett's move.

Random bikini girls.

Strange cowboy flies into town, beats his driver, stuffs him in the trunk, then later, his corpse washes up on the beach

Peewee baseball dispute.

Maury says Steve is not the brother.

Fancy new computer.

The killer's a Texas Ranger.

Bitchin' Camaro Jr.

Dumbass kid got the Ranger's daughter kidnapped.

Kidnappers are the real killers, plus they double-crossed the kid and sold the girl.

Big hugs before she can be shipped to Asia.

Game 7 home run.

What I Liked
-McGarrett kicks dirt on Kamekona's shoes at the baseball game. That's some old school manger-umpire fighting.
-Danny thinks it's funny that Steve thinks Wo Fat's a psychopath, so they must automatically be brothers. That's a fair point.
-Some good banter in the new Camaro. New car, same banter. Good.
-Michelle Borth in jorts.

I do love me some jorts.

What I Hated
-Steve won't let Danno drive his brand new car. That's just not cool. Also he grinds the gears.
-Despite the fact that he's locked in an interrogation room, and time is of the essence, the cowboy still won't talk. They tried to play it off by having him say he doesn't trust anyone, but it still doesn't make any damn sense. How's he supposed to save his daughter if he's in jail?
-They used the 'kid hits a homer in the big game' cliché. C'mon, really?

Final Thoughts
I find myself struggling to care about what's happening with Adam and Kono. Now they're apparently going to go off and fight the Yakuza on their turf, which doesn't make a whole heck of a lot of sense since there are only two of them and they have very limited resources. Also, wasn't Adam basically the head of the Hawaii Yakuza? Shouldn't he have been able to kill his brother with impunity? I know there are some elements who would be pissed off, but enough people should be making legitimate money at this point that he should have a lot more clout than it seems like he does.

The upgraded computer and car are certainly flashier than the old stuff, but I don't know if people would be able to tell the old from the new just by looking at them. Certainly, from a product placement standpoint it makes sense to show off the latest and greatest stuff, but it's not like the average person who watches Hawaii Five-0 is going to go out and buy a $20,000 computer. I've always preferred black cars to silver ones, though, so I'm a fan of the car upgrade.

It's been far too long since Danno last booked someone. I'm not saying it has to happen every week, but every three episodes or so would be nice. These days it seems like they just kill everyone.

This particular episode focused quite a lot on a guest character who moved very slowly most of the time and didn't say very much. I think they were trying to make him come off as some kind of silent badass, but it really didn't work. During the shootout, he just walks at the bad guys without ducking, dodging, or even firing his gun. And he's moving so slowly that everyone's dead before he even gets anywhere near them. That's not badass, it's just stupid.

Overall I didn't like this one as much as the season premiere. It wasn't bad, but it spent so much time on a bad character that I can't say it was good, either.

TBBT 7x02: The Deception Verification

A beardless Leonard returns a couple days early to surprise Penny, but he doesn't tell anyone else that he's back so the two of them can have a few days alone to themselves. Which is actually kind of a dick move since Sheldon's really missed him. So much so that he goes to see Stuart at the comic book shop to find an appropriate 'Welcome Home!' gift. Stuart suggests an Aquaman statue.

It's pretty cool.

Despite his lack of success and hatred for life, Stuart's actually a devious businessman and manages to talk Sheldon into buying the statue for himself for $1200 and getting Leonard a 'rare' Batman squirt gun.

After making his purchase, Sheldon returns home with Chinese food just as Penny is paying the pizza delivery dude. She and Leonard are having a 'romantic' dinner, and he's adjourned to the bathroom for a moment. When he flushes the toilet, Sheldon realizes that Penny has company, although she tries to deny it. He also notices the two wine glasses on the table, and that her Chinese takeout containers from the previous night are actually in the trash can. She insists that she's alone, and he believes her, but later, when he's having tea with Amy, he starts to think that Penny might be cheating on Leonard. Amy doesn't think Penny's capable of that, but when Sheldon tells her about the takeout containers, she sees no other explanation.

The two of them go over to listen at Penny's door, and when they hear the sound of kissing, they burst in to catch them in the act.

Ah-Ha!

Sheldon's pissed that Leonard thinks so little of their friendship that he would hide from him for two days. So, Leonard apologizes by giving him a sailor hat he got while he was away.

It looks pretty good on him.

It doesn't work, though, and on their way to work the next day, Sheldon is still testy. So testy, in fact, that Leonard's unwilling to drive him to work because he's so annoying. Which means Amy has to come over and give him a ride. They bump into Penny in the hall, and he's snippy to her, too.

Meanwhile, Howard is acting like a whiny bitch. He's sensitive, and he's feeling fat. Bernadette figures out that it's because the ointment he's been applying to his mother's back is a very powerful estrogen cream and he's been absorbing it for weeks. Once he knows what's going on, Howard researches the effects of estrogen and invites Raj over to ask him if his boobs have gotten bigger.

Much groping ensues.

When the guys all meet at the university for lunch on Monday, the roommates fight, but sensitive Howard convinces them to call a truce, and later that week, Sheldon and Leonard have a rollicking good time at the Los Angeles Bureau of Weights and Measures.

What I Liked
-Howard complains that they put Doc Ock's brain in Spider-Man's body. They've done some stupid things at Marvel, but that was certainly in the top five.
-Sheldon's uncle used to wear the same cologne as the weed-reeking pizza delivery guy. Hee-hee.
-The sailor hat looks so good on Sheldon that he decides to change his Halloween costume, which means Amy has to be Olive Oyl, and thus needs to lay off the doughnuts. She has one for breakfast the next morning, anyway.

What I Hated
-Penny cheaps out on the tip and threatens to bust the delivery guy for smelling like marijuana. Not cool.
-Howard on estrogen is little more than a caricature. I know it's a little funnier, but they basically made him a super-PMS woman rather than just slightly feminine. It's a bit of unnecessary sexism on a show that's occasionally been derided for being unnecessarily sexist.
-Jiggling man boobs. They're funny, but no one wants to see that. Also, damn Kunal Nayyar needs to work on his pecs.

Final Thoughts
It turns out the Batman Water Gun actually is relatively rare, and I couldn't find a store that sells it, or even find it on eBay. The Aquaman statue was likewise difficult to locate, although I can't imagine why anyone would want to buy one in the first place. Aquaman sucks. That's right, I said it.

I didn't like this episode as much as the first one, even though it was funnier and only had two plots, rather than three. Probably because the plot about Howard and his boobs just plain wasn't that good. Man jiggling aside, there really wasn't much to like about it. These sorts of 'man gets in touch with his feminine side' stories almost always turn into caricatures of super-whiny women, and there's nothing terribly new or interesting about them. This show's really good at mining the old sitcom tropes for new gold, but this particular one's just never been funny or compelling.

The Crazy Ones 1x02: The Spectacular

Simon gives Zach a leather jacket they used in a photo shoot as a congratulatory gift for a job well done, and it makes Andrew a little jealous. He thinks the boss notices Zach more because he's a copywriter, which means he talks more during pitch meetings. Andrew gets confirmation when Simon gives them a "Great work, Zach" after they show him an idea for a Crest campaign. When Zach points that out, Simon tries to give the leather jacket to Andrew instead, but it just looks so much better on Zach.

It really does look good on him.

Since Simon is raising ducklings to be the first residents of the newly restored Arrowhead Pond, he decides that it'll be a good bonding experience and gets Andrew to help him. At first, Andrew's not terribly enthusiastic about the whole thing because part of the job involves cleaning duck anuses with a brush, but when Simon explains the sentimental meaning the pond has to him, he gets on board. Which makes Zach jealous for the first time in his life.

Meanwhile, Sydney is making a pitch to Windy City Coffee, and Simon thinks she's playing it too safe. He wants her to put more penis into it. Which is hard, because she's a woman. She won't let him talk her out of her pitch, and the WCC execs like the slow, steady growth that she says it'll deliver, but they were really hoping for something flashier. Simon suggests a Spectacular; a media event designed to get attention. Even without any specific details, the execs love it, which leaves Sydney to figure it out. She spends all night on it, and winds up a bit frazzled.

Just a bit.

Eventually, though, she comes up with something spectacular: A three-storey coffee pot, eternally pouring coffee into a giant cup.

It's spectacular!

Unfortunately, when the wind picks up, it starts to rain coffee. The gathered crowd starts tries to flee before their clothes are ruined, but it's too late. The execs are not amused. Sydney's a little morose until Simon tells the story of exactly how the Arrowhead Pond was contaminated in the first place: It was him. He did a Spectacular for Pop Rocks back in the 1980s that involved pouring tonnes of them into the pond. The effect was considerably more pronounced than he had expected, and it blew up most of the fish.

When Sydney sees video of the debacle on the news, she gets an idea. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, so when life gives you coffee, you make coffeeade, I suppose. At any rate, she decides to take the video and use it in a horror-themed ad.

Pictured: Coffeeade.

The execs love the fact that it's edgy, and that there's a red-band version that features a woman whose shirt got just a little too wet.

Then it's time to release the ducks. Andrew has a little trouble letting go, but Simon convinces him that the ducklings need to be free. They've imprinted on Andrew, though, so at first they won't leave. But once he gets in the water and takes a swim, they follow him right in. Simon says he's proud of Andrew, the pond is restored, and Zach gets to keep the leather jacket. Everybody's happy.

What I Liked
-Lauren rates advertising campaigns based on how likely she would be to sleep with someone who uses the product. That's the same way I rate them.
-Simon beats the penis metaphor to death. That's a weird thing to do around your daughter.
-Andrew and Simon give Lauren dirty looks for eating Peking duck in front of the ducklings. It's like eating a bacon cheeseburger on a farm: It's just not cool.
-"That's my daughter's penis up there." One day, I hope to be proud enough to say that.
-There's a guy in the horror-themed ad who tastes some of the coffee raining down upon him and says "That's actually quite tasty." He's actually in the earlier scene where the coffee rain occurs and you can hear him say the end of "tasty". That's a kind of attention to detail that you don't get out of most shows.
-1980s Simon.

Cosby was an influential guy.

What I Hated
-It seems like the cold opening of each episode is going to feature the gang working with actors/models as they make a video/print ad. This week's didn't really work for me.
-Robin Williams' Jacques Cousteau impression. It wasn't very good.

Final Thoughts
I like what I've seen so far from The Crazy Ones. It remains to be seen if they can keep up the quality of the writing and the acting(people forget that Williams trained at Juilliard under John Houseman), but if it can, then I see no reason why they can't get five or six seasons out of the premise. There will always be more ad campaigns to lampoon and fake products to pitch. They're going to have to do a bit more with Lauren, though. She's basically been window dressing for the first couple episodes.

Unlike dramas, which I recap and review as I go, I watch sitcoms straight through once so I can check how often they make me laugh. This one was funny the first time, but I noticed that I barely laughed at all the second time through. That doesn't bode well for repeat viewings.

That's not really important, though. I laughed the first time I watched it, and that's all that matters to me. Although, a lot of the jokes were a bit easy. I love low-hanging dick jokes as much as the next man, but they're not exactly the height of wit.

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD 1x02: 0-8-4

The team is just flying around, minding their own business when a huge hole is blown in the side of their plane for no apparent reason. Coulson struggles not to get sucked out. Then it's 19 hours earlier, and I guess we'll have to wait to see what happens.

Against May and Ward's objections, and with Fitzsimmons(especially Fitz's) approval, Skye is coming on board as a consultant. Since she lives in her van, she doesn't have a lot of stuff, which is good, because there isn't as much storage space on the plane as you'd think. Her first assignment will be to join the team on a trip to Peru to check out the titular 0-8-4, which is an object of unknown origin. The last one SHIELD found was Mjölnir, so whatever it is could be pretty neat.

When they get to Peru, an archaeologist shows them a thingy embedded in the wall of a pre-Incan temple. It's at least 1000 years older than the temple itself. While Coulson, Skye, and Fitzsimmons take a look at it, May and Ward try to secure the area.

They don't do a very good job.

The guys in camouflage are Peruvian military police and their leader, Camilla Reyes, is conveniently an old pal of Coulson's. She gives him a peck on the cheek, and everyone puts their guns down. As they head off to chat about old times, some rebels attack and start blowing things up. There isn't enough time for proper examination and excavation, so Ward just rips the thing out of the wall and puts it in a bag. Coulson and Reyes put up a decent fight, but most of the team is pinned down inside the temple. So, Ward pulls out some kind of technological force projection thing and it shoots out a wave of energy that knocks the rebels down... for about three seconds.

Even so, they manage to make it to their vehicle, and everyone beats a hasty retreat to the mobile command unit. When they take off, they're heavy four Peruvian MPs, but that's better than leaving someone behind. As they're getting airborne, Fitz explains that the thingy is powered by tesseract technology and is spitting out a bunch of gamma radiation.

Probably not the best idea to keep it in a bag on the floor.

On the trip home, the team gets into a fight because, quite frankly, they don't like each other very much. But Coulson plays daddy and tells them to sort it out. Skye takes the wise approach and uses booze to try to smooth things over with Ward. At the same time, Reyes is in Coulson's office trying to seduce him.

It's a good try.

Fortunately, Coulson has seen TV, so he knows that she's just trying to distract him while the rest of her guys take over the plane. He manages to fight her off, and Ward disables two other guys, but one of the MPs gets into the lab and holds a scalpel to Fitz's throat, so they're forced to surrender.

Reyes sticks the team in the cargo hold and threatens to open the doors unless Coulson gives the authorization codes to SHIELD when they call and ask about the course change. May is hardcore, so she dislocates her wrist to slip out of her restrains and then knocks out the guard. Then it's action time. They bust through the door to the lab, grab their gear, and then strap themselves to the wall. Fitz uses one of his little drones to remotely activate the thingy, and it blows the hole in the wall.

So, I guess it's been 19 hours.

The sudden change in pressure allows the team to get the drop on the MPs, and gives Coulson the opportunity to tie up Reyes in a non-sexy manner. May retakes the cockpit, Ward beats up some dudes, Fitzsimmons and Skye retrieve the thingy, and then Skye uses an emergency life raft to seal the hole.

When they finally land at the secret base where they were headed, SHIELD launches the thingy into the sun, the team drinks beer, and Skye gets a secret message from the Rising Tide people. She tells them she's in.

Whatever that means.

Then Nick Fury shows up to tear Coulson a new one for blowing a hole in a brand new plane. And tries not to call him a motherfucker.

He's trying really hard. You can see it in his eye.

What I Liked
-Reyes explains to Coulson that he's having a mid-life crisis. If more people would just straight-up tell middle-aged men what's going on, the world would be a better place.
-Nick Fury talks about how nice the bar is on the plane. They really should've tried to get Samuel L. Jackson as a regular character, or at least a frequently recurring guest star. He's so much fun.

What I Hated
-19 hours earlier. Create the tension normally, dammit! Not with flashforwards.
-Bad ADR. I hear it so often on TV that apparently it is freakin' rocket science.
-Skye claims to have searched every data stream for evidence of the thing. What does that even mean? As fast as SHIELD's wireless network probably is, I can't imagine it's possible to search the entire internet in less than a minute. This show totally is NCIS.
-Ward's fancy force blaster is practically worthless. Seriously, it takes him longer to use it than it keeps the rebels down.
-Fitzsimmons spout pointless tech babble that makes no sense. I know they're supposed to be nerds, but I know nerds, and no nerds are actually that nerdy. They also say things that actually make sense.

Final Thoughts
This was better than last week's episode. The ADR was worse, but the acting and special effects were very much improved. Which is weird, because this is a marquee show, so I would've thought that Disney would've sunk a tonne of dough into the pilot to get people interested in the series.

The script was better, too, although they're still not really mining the source material. This week they fought the Peruvian military. That's not exactly something that requires fancy space technology or a specially-outfitted airplane. There are hundreds of obscure supervillains in the Marvel universe that they could be fighting, and instead they're dealing with South American rebels. That's not even really something you need a secret organization to do; you can just use the actual military for that. Sure, there was a fancy blaster thing, but a normal bomb-disposal unit could've handled it just as well and as easily. The show could still be Image Comics' Agents of SHEATH (I found out that SWORD is a real thing in Marvel), and there would be no difference. Why have a licence and source material if you're not going to use them?

All in all, I liked this episode more than last week's, but I'm really not seeing much reason to continue watching the show. Most of the characters aren't terribly compelling and the plots aren't that interesting. I'm still willing to give it a couple more weeks to find its footing, but there just needs to be more to it than what we've seen so far if I'm going to stick around for the long haul.

Castle 6x02: Dreamworld

Castle's been poisoned with a toxin that'll kill him in 10-12 hours, but thanks to a solid dose of pralidoxime and atropine he won't be feeling any ill effects until just before he drops dead. So he's both available and highly motivated to help the secret AG team find out just what exactly Dreamworld is. Beckett's boss agrees to let him help, but only from within the HQ, which means it's up to Beckett and TV's Lisa Edelstein to save the day.

They start by tracking down a reporter who tried to publish an article on Dreamworld that was quashed by the government over national security issues. Bronson (the guy who dropped dead in the previous episode, not the actor) was one of his sources. He didn't give out a lot of information, but the reporter says that just after he talked to Bronson, the Secretary of Defense called his editor personally, to kill the story. Since they're already in DC, the agents take a quick jaunt down to the Pentagon to talk to the man himself.

And he is in no mood!

According to the Secretary, Dreamworld is a myth, but if such a place did exist, then allowing an article to be published about it would damage national security. The Secretary's a reasonable guy, though, and he admits off the record that Bronson ran one mission out of Dreamworld: Killing Al Qaeda's number two man, Anwar Zawahri. There was talk about a possible response, but it never materialized, unless of course they're about to kill a bunch of people with the stolen toxin. While everyone else searches for Al Qaeda associates who may be in the area, Castle has what may be his final conversation with his mother and daughter.

And Pi, who really should be on his way. His planet needs him!

The attack killed five of Zawahri's cousins, and another one, Waqas Rasheed, was both in Jalalabad at the time and was caught on camera following Bronson out of a café. The agents quickly find him and arrest him, but he doesn't have the toxin or the antidote on him. So it's interrogation time. Rasheed swears that he has no idea what's going on and has nothing to do with it, then he tells a story of how on the night of the air strike, he saw Bronson carry a dead woman's body away from the rubble and had to swear on the lives of his family that he wouldn't tell anyone what he had seen. He wasn't following Bronson. Bronson was following him.

The DoD sends over the documents related to the mission, but they're so heavily redacted that they're almost useless. Castle manages to find a way to determine that the documents contained the word 'Valkyrie' but that doesn't help since there's not enough context. Fortunately, the tech agent, Richmond, did a year of work as the CTO at Bagram air base, and he thinks he can get the data from the audio recorder from the F-16 that performed the actual air strike.

He's a resourceful guy, that Richmond. I hope nothing bad happens to him.

When they listen to the audio, they find that 'Valkyrie' wasn't the codename for the mission or even for Zawahri, but for an American intelligence asset who was killed in the strike when she couldn't get out in time. The Secretary of Defense had Bronson cover it up. Beckett's boss won't let her go after the SecDef without concrete evidence, but she goes straight to his house, anyway. He's not talking, and when he calls up the AG to try to get Beckett fired, they know he's not involved, either.

Things look pretty bleak until they get a photo from Rasheed that shows 'Valkyrie' and they determine that she was the reporter's fiancée.

It's a real shame. They were a cute couple.

They can't track the guy down, but they can sure bust through his apartment door, looking for the antidote. Since Castle's damn near dead, he gets to go along. They find blueprints for the office where the toxin was stored as well as press credentials for an event where the Secretary of Defense is giving a speech. At first, they think that's he's going there to kill the Secretary, but when they find out he hasn't checked in at the press desk yet, they realize that he's going to kill the Secretary's wife.

Castle collapses on the Secretary's lawn, but Beckett and TV's Lisa Edelstein manage to capture the reporter and get the antidote in time to save him and the Secretary's wife. Beckett's happy that everything turned out all right, but when she finds out that the Secretary's going to get off scot free, even though he withheld information to cover his own ass, she starts having qualms about the job.

This is her qualms face.

What I Liked
-TV's Lisa Edelstein refers to Castle's impending death as an acceptable loss right in front of him. That was funny, if a bit harsh.
-Castle's ringtone for his mother is the opening of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor. The song itself is not necessarily evil, but it's been used in horror movies, which is what makes it a good choice. I, too, am horrified whenever my mother calls.
-Martha knows something's wrong because Richard didn't make any smart-ass quips when they spoke on the phone. The key with lying is to act naturally.
-Castle does the whole Dorothy waking up thing in the hospital. Beckett was there and Alexis was there and Martha was there...

Pi was there, too, but one picture of him per review is enough.

What I Hated
-The little info box on Rasheed identifies him as a dual US-Afghan citizen in the country on a student visa. US citizens don't need student visas to study in the US.
-The whole ticking clock, Oh My God, Castle's Gonna Die! thing. We all knew he wasn't going to die. Having him collapse at the end was just pointless. Admittedly, the characters didn't know that he wasn't going to die, but aside from Beckett and Castle, none of the main characters even knew he was sick. There was very little drama to be squeezed out of that particular trope, and they didn't really do a good job of it.

Final Thoughts
They've been really reaching to get Esposito and Ryan into the show. It looks like Castle will be back in New York next week, and Beckett will probably quit her job before the end of the sixth episode. Nevertheless, I really hope they find a better way of getting those guys some screen time. Heck, the Cap'n hasn't been on the show at all yet this season.

I still hate Pi. He's a caricature, and the show already had plenty of comic relief. There's a tiny chance he could grow on me, but I really hope he's killed in a horrible manner soon and Castle and the team have to investigate his murder. I mean, what happens to him when Alexis goes back to school? Is he going to move into Castle's garage with Fonzie and Boner?

The episode itself was pretty standard fare -beyond the Castle only has 24-hours to live thing, of course- and was far less of a departure than I was expecting after Beckett took the job in DC. Aside from a change of scenery, the show is essentially the same. Not that I'm saying I disapprove. I've quite enjoyed Castle for the past five years, and I'm quite happy to keep watching them do what they do best for a couple more. But they have an opportunity for them to break out of the mould for a few episodes, and they just don't seem to be taking it.

Community 4x02: Paranormal Parentage

Since last week was October 19th, that makes this week Halloween. Vicki's having a big party, and everyone but Pierce is invited, since she hates him for screwing her over during the election for student president back in season two. As such, everyone's in costume. Jeff had planned a couples' costume for himself and Annie, but due to a miscommunication, he's dressed as a boxer, and her ring girl costume is the freaky girl from The Ring.

Shirley's Leia, Abed and Troy are Calvin and Hobbes, and Britta is a ham.

Before they can leave, Troy gets a call from Pierce saying he's locked himself in his panic room and can't get out. Jeff doesn't want to go because he thinks Pierce is lying and just wants attention. However, a visit from the Dean in his ring girl costume is enough to convince him they should avoid going to the party for a while and check in on their friend.

He made the right choice.

Hawthorne Manor is a bit of a tacky mess when they get there. Things haven't been going so well for Pierce since his dad died and he lost his inheritance to his half-brother. Via his panic-room video camera, he tells the gang that he hid in his panic room when he saw the ghost of his father and he can't remember the code. It's written in a red notebook somewhere in his house. Jeff doesn't buy it, but everyone else wants to help, and Annie is his ride, so he can't leave. As the gang disperses to begin their search, a shadowy figure passes in front of the camera.

Dun dun dunnnnnnn.

The group splits up into three teams. Britta and Jeff search Pierce's bedroom. Britta wants to use her psychology powers to help fix Pierce's brain, but Jeff just wants to get out without touching anything. They check out the room, but all they find are Jeff and Pierce's unresolved daddy issues.

Meanwhile, Abed and Annie search some other room. I'm not sure which one, though. The map says they're in the library, but their dialogue indicates that they're somewhere else.

Maps can be confusing, even to the graphics department.

They don't find the notebook, either, but Abed pulls every book and knick-knack in the bookcase, and discovers a secret room, into which he disappears. The loss of her friend freaks Annie out, and she abandons her search for the notebook to look for him, instead. However, all she finds is a mirror, in which she sees the reflection of Pierce's dead father. It's freaky stuff.

The final team consists of Shirley and Troy. They're looking for the library, but Troy can't remember where it is. Instead, he leads them to Pierce's "secret gym" filled with leather collars and other workout gear.

He's not using that swing properly.

Shirley quickly gets them out of there, and they meet up with Annie, who explains how she lost Abed. The three of them head out to look for him, but there's no reason to worry. The room he found was the monitor room for Pierce's security cameras, and Abed's having the time of his life watching them... and Cougartown. He notices the shadowy figure watching over Pierce on some archived footage, but he doesn't notice it standing right behind him.

Elsewhere, while discussing the issues he has with his father, Jeff reveals the fact that he's had his dad's phone number for three weeks. Britta tries to snatch it from him so she can help heal his heart holes, but he flees and locks himself in Cornelius Hawthorne's bedroom. He settles in for a few swigs of the old man's scotch and discovers the notebook with the door code, but then the room starts flipping out, Poltergeist style. As does the wall behind Troy.

I don't see what the big deal is, it just wants to give him a hug.

Everyone behaves rationally and starts freaking out and running away. Jeff implores Pierce to turn off his haunted house, however the video feed shows him lying dead on the floor. But, when they punch in the code and go inside, the room is empty. Pierce quickly pops up behind them for one last jump scare before Abed arrives and pops in a tape he's made with the surveillance gear showing how all the spooky effects were accomplished. His favourite is the shadowy figure who was watching Pierce sleep. Unfortunately, Pierce has no idea who that was.

Pierce quickly reseals the panic room with everyone inside and tries to explain that he doesn't know what's going on, but no one believes him. He tries to keep Jeff from opening the door, but it doesn't matter: Someone starts opening it from the outside. The door slides open and reveals the killer:

Although, I guess he *technically* hasn't killed anyone.

After their dad died, Gilbert inherited all of his properties, including Hawthorne Manor. He dropped by one day to turn the deed over to Pierce, but when he got their, his brother was out, and the place was a mess. So he fixed some things up, and he's been looking after Pierce in secret ever since. Losing Cornelius left a huge hole in Gilbert's life, and taking care of his brother gave his life meaning again. However, now that he's been found out, he has to leave. Pierce says he's been doing fine since their father died, so he doesn't need a caretaker. But, he could use a roommate. The brothers hug and everyone is happy.

Awwwwwww.

Annie, Abed and Shirley go to the party, Britta and Troy go off to watch some Inspector Spacetime, and Jeff goes home to finally call his dad.

What I Liked
-Pierce has a portrait of Ty Webb in his bedroom.

Caddyshack was an awesome movie.

-In his fear, Troy's biggest concern is that he broke the remote for Pierce's panic room video system. He's right to be upset: Finding a remote control for anything from the 1980s is tough.
This week's best line: "Ghosts can't go through doors, stupid. They're not fire."-Pierce

What I Hated
-More hashtags. This week they included #HappyValloween, #GhostDad, and #GilbertRturns. I'm no longer sure whether they're doing it ironically or not. Either way, it's dumb as hell.
-The whole map thing is screwed up. It shows characters in the wrong places, and is always missing icons. It was a cool idea, but I guess they couldn't find a way to execute it properly.
-The tag during the credits with Troy and Abed engaging in secret room hijinks was pretty lame.

Final Thoughts
I got really stuck on the idea that Troy was Tigger, so it took me forever to figure out what Abed's costume was. Calvin and Hobbes has been gone for 17 years now, which means today's young people have never heard of it, and it is, therefore, officially obscure.

The ending was really abrupt and came out of nowhere. Giancarlo Esposito is everywhere, but I honestly didn't expect to see him back on Community again. If they were trying to genuinely surprise the audience, I'd say they did a good job, but that doesn't mean it was a good idea in the first place.

I've watched it a few times and I'm still not sure whether I liked it or hated it, but Annie's creepy Ring girl crawl was creepy.

That part in The Ring where she comes out of the TV legitimately freaked me out the first time I saw it.

Overall, I'd say that this year's Valloween episode was a bit better than last year's, but not nearly as good or memorable as the first two seasons'. It felt like they tried to jam too much into it and they just didn't have the time. Splitting the group into three teams gave everyone a chance to kick in a few jokes, but it also meant that there wasn't really any time to develop anyone's story. That's fine if you're just going for a series of gags, but the writers tried to do some actual character development, and it was far too rushed.

Speaking of character development, I'm no longer sure what the deal is with Jeff and Annie. I was under the impression that they settled things last season when the line "And we're gonna sleep together" from Jeff's fantasy turned out to be completely wrong. However, they planned on wearing matching costumes, and he wanted hers to basically be a bikini. While I do fully appreciate and condone attempting to get Alison Brie to walk around scantily clad, that's not exactly the sort of thing you do with a friend who you have no interest in. The whole "will they-won't they" thing has become tiresome, not only on this show, but in general. Annie is an attractive, young, college-going woman and because the writers need her to have sexual tension with Jeff, she hasn't had a boyfriend or even a date that I can remember since the first season. Far be it from me to decry the lack of realism on Community of all shows, but that's as fantastical as Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas.