It's the day after the night, and it's time to burn the dead and get drunk. Daenerys legitimizes Gendry and makes him Lord of Storm's End, so he immediately runs off to profess his love for Arya and propose to her. She turns him down, 'cause the sex was good, but he's no Podrick. Tormund downs enough liquid courage to finally make his move on Brienne, but Jaime's pretty thirsty, too, so he bangs the first lady knight, and Tormund settles for a Northern girl.
After the celebration, Daenerys literally begs Jon not to tell anyone he's the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, but he feels like he has to tell the Stark girls for some reason. Even though he swears her to secrecy, Sansa immediately blabs to Tyrion and starts scheming a way to get her ex-half-brother on the throne.
Daenerys, the dragons, and a small force head to Dragonstone via ship, but are ambushed by a small group of Euron's ships armed with dragon-killing ballistae. They kill Rhaegal, sink all her ships, and capture Missandei. The Dragon Queen is rightly pissed off since now she has no one left to announce her as Khaleesi and breaker of chains and whatnot, so she just wants to burn King's Landing to the ground. Tyrion tries to convince her not to do it, but she's not having it, so Varys thinks that she might not be the best person to rule the Seven Kingdoms after all. The gang heads out for a quick parley with Cersei, who has lined the walls of the city with ballistae as well. Qyburn comes out to deliver terms, but since he's not empowered to negotiate, Tyrion talks directly with his sister... who predictably ignores everything he has to say and has The Mountain chop Missandei's head off. Daenerys is super, crazy mad.
What I Liked
-"Now, which one of you cowards shit in my pants?" I'm really gonna miss Tormund.
-Everyone gets lucky. The North has been at war for so long and through so many different conflicts that I'd say at minimum, a solid 25% of its total male population has been killed. The Northern ladies probably haven't gotten laid on a regular basis since Ned Stark was alive.
-Varys still serves the realm above all else. He may be the last major character with any sense.
What I Hated
-Gendry asks Arya to marry him. That must have been some awesome sex because the two of them barely know each other and he's in love with her.
-Jon sends Ghost to live on a farm. I know CGI direwolves are expensive, but this is just ridiculous. Most people wouldn't get rid of a beloved pet without saying goodbye, and a "Good boy, Ghost, go with Tormund," would've been a hell of a lot better than the brief, sort of, but not really sad look we got.
-Euron Greyjoy's cloaking device returns. The whole sequence where Daenerys arrives at Dragonstone is stupid as hell.
-Tyrion still thinks he can convince his sister to do anything. He used to be a smart guy, but apparently Cersei has some kind of energy field around her that turns him into a total moron.
-Cersei still thinks she can rule the Seven Kingdoms. Her allies currently consist of Euron's fleet, whatever Lannisters might be left, Qyburn, and The Mountain. The Golden Company doesn't count because they're only hanging around because she paid them. Everyone else hates her. Her army certainly isn't large enough to intimidate people into following her, and she has no legal claim to the throne, so I'm not sure what she expects the outcome of all of this to be.
Final Thoughts
I understand why they needed to eliminate one of the dragons as well as another solid chunk of Daenerys' army, but they did it very, very poorly. Apparently scouts just aren't a thing in Westeros, but cloaking devices are. Also, Euron's forces scored three direct hits the very first time they ever fired at a flying target, but didn't think to shoot the other dragon, then machine-gunned all the enemy ships using some kind of off-camera quick-reload mechanism.
Still no word on Lord Royce or what Bran was doing in episode three. I swear if some deus ex machina force of Crannogmen or something rides to the rescue at the end of the next episode, I'll lose my shit.
I enjoyed this episode more than the previous one, but it still wasn't good. Turning Daenerys into a power-mad, vengeful lunatic seems like way too much of a departure. Her entire motivation is a bit messed up at this point. All that stuff about wanting to free the people and break the wheel has gone out the window, and now she just wants to kill Cersei so she can become Queen of Westeros. It doesn't matter to her that Jon has a better claim and he'd be a kind and just King, she wants to rule. She wants to rule shitty Westeros where winter lasts for years instead of installing her nephew as ruler and then heading back to Essos to be Queen of the big chunk of land she conquered over there. Her family could rule on both sides of the sea, but that makes too much sense, so she's probably gonna burn it all down and be queen of the ashes.
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